Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Moves Unlike Jagger
So, I knew yesterday was going to be a good day. I woke up after a really hard sleep (after an exhaustingly awesome hiking/camping weekend) to a dream in which Mick Jagger was hitting on me. A young Mick Jagger. Of course, I denied him, because he's Mick Jagger and gah, knows where those lips have been. But still. Waking up to a rock legend hitting on you, there are worse ways to start a Tuesday. Thhheennnn, I saw a clip of George Clooney singing Sweet Caroline with Neil Diamond on the Today show. Done. Locked in. This was going to be a great Tuesday.
I also had a big date on the gcalendar. Big in the way I was actually looking forward it.
I met him in a odd way. I had just been on a date with a guy my friend Jamie set me up with… Needless to say, it was not a match. (Lesson learned: I'm not meant to date a fashion/hair stylist.) (Though, I likely will marry a gay man.) So, I met up with some friends to watch baseball and met him there. Oddly enough, years ago, my friend Chrissy tried to set me up with his brother. Anyway, not the point. He was really funny. He sought out my number. And we chatted for a long bit before making plans to meet up last night.
The fact that was I actually nervous was a good sign. The fact that I walked in to a dimly-lit wine bar that had amazing jazz and thought he was pretty cute was another good sign. Over a bottle of wine, I'm pretty sure we never finished one full conversation. We were able to jump from one thought to another so effortlessly. I thought he was so witty and so funny. Still, there was something holding me back... I critiqued him. I critiqued me with him. I critiqued a fictitious relationship between the two of us.
So, after perfectly easy and great first date (one where I'm still laughing at some of his witty comments), I am left confused. Unsure of my thoughts. Perhaps I'm too scared to get back on the love train. Perhaps I'm just not ready. Or, perhaps, I just need to get over my thoughts and just enjoy the experience. I think the fact is I'm having difficulty yeeettttt again letting go. Letting go of the past. Letting go of expectations. Letting go of need to control situations.
However, if I think about it, these past few months I have learned to bit-by-bit let go of doubt, guilt, fear, etc, etc, etc with every choice. I've also learned that with every conscious decision, there is no wrong. So in the spirit of fun, and letting nature take it course, I'm going to check out what happens with this bearded, sharp-witted, wine connoisseur. He is after all a big Neil Diamond fan. Can't be all that bad.
Posted by Michele Louise at 1:10 PM