So yesterday, I woke up and it was just that sort of perfect Sunday to do nothing. But, I felt this desire to nothing with someone. As I french-pressed my coffee and surveyed my apt in a what-to-do-next type of way, a wave of loneliness swept over me... and then a wave "get the hell over yourself".
As an only child, I've always enjoyed my alone time. However, like most people, on my terms. The thing is, I had options yesterday. There were certainly people that I could have called, things that I could absorb the time, but for whatever reason, that didn't seem like the right move. So, instead I took a little pause and thought about how many people would appreciate not having plans, having freedom... quiet, expansive, alone-time. And then the switch was flipped, literally I was no longer lonely. I was alone, but not lonely. I ended up truly having the most perfect day.
So often we expect outer influences to make us feel better. To comfort our fears, to take care of our desires, to transform our thoughts. But, truthfully, its a gift we give ourselves. And its constantly there.
I found this video by poet/singer/songwriter Tanya Davis when researching loneliness. I think so beautifully expresses the blessing of being alone.