Thursday, April 23, 2015

What My Future Self Would Tell Me Right Now

Today, I booked my one-way ticket out of New York. Such a strange feeling. It is really hard in this time of transition to take a moment to fully absorb what is happening. I look at my life up until August 15th, and I can plan and plan. And I can look solely on what is planned. I basically could use my calendar like an oxygen tank. The people I will see, what I will do, and expectations on how I will feel. Though, if I focus on my time in NY like sand in the hourglass... say like in a game... I miss participating. (Read: life should not be like Scattergories.) So, right now I want to a take a moment to honor where I am and think about what my future self would say to me right now:

Hey, calm down. Everything is going to be alright. 

Look around. This is what you love and some of what you hate.

You have no idea what is serving you. The anxiety. The fear of the unknown. The fear of leaving things behind. The best is yet to come.

Remember: subways in the heat: the overcrowding and people armpits in your face. New York is not always glamorous. Those shining buildings sometimes are blinding. 

The place were you are. Right now. You will never be again. Appreciate it all.

You have people you love. And some of them will always be there. And those that won't be, there are not there for a reason. Bid them the best, and wish them well.

Your hurt will turn into lessons. 

Your heart longed for something. And now you now have it.

You know more.

You found a great apartment.

You're hair is naturally highlighted!

You were sad because you lost something. But you gained so much more.

You're a f*cking doctor and you help people. You are fulfilled in a way that city chaos, happy hours, and corporate promotions could have never done. Live on.

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