It has been some time since I wrote. Now I find myself drawn to write again. So very much has happened. Things that I have not posted. So many trips and experiences undocumented here. Alas, I find myself in a season of renewal and ready to write again. Maybe it was Easter, The Spring Equinox, as well as this new moon that has revived a spirit that has been dormant for awhile.
Yesterday I as was walking home, as I crossed Broadway on 88th, I looked at the trees and saw the buds... and I thought, "Gah, can they just not just bloom already?! I'm sooo ready." I realized it's not just the winter coat I am ready to shed, but I am ready for the new life that waits ahead. However, with all things, I cannot force the buds to bloom and I cannot rush myself into the blossoming that I'm very aware that is around the corner.
There is a palpable energy to Spring... just as there is a palpable energy in life when you know you are about to grow and spring forth into life. Currently, I am surrounded by it. I have two dear friends that are pregnant. As I watch them grow, I await (and yet can't wait!) to see what these births bring. At the same time, I prepare myself not just to leave New York... this city which has held so many dreams and fulfilled so many more... but to also prepare myself to start a new life in a place that I know will change my life forever.
I'm not sure if you ever felt this way, but I find myself looking at life through a different lens. One of tremendous gratitude, because I know have already been dealt the lotto ticket. I get to wake up every morning to see a new day begin, I get to look back on what was, and I get to dream about what a new life will bring.
Yesterday, my friend Erin and I went to go see Candice Bergen interviewed at 92Y (ps: I have decided she is my spirit animal) and tonight we saw Patti Lapone sing mere feet away from us. The week before we saw Tim Gunn. With all of these experiences, I felt awe. Awe to experience it and awe in seeing people in their element.
Blessings come in so many fashions. Yet recently I have found they come in experiencing life itself. Not as we hope it is, but in the divine fashion it comes to us... when we are suppose to experience it.
I know that I would not appreciate all these things if they came to me at any other moment in my life. So, I will wait for the buds to bloom. And I will wait to blossom.