A few weeks ago, I had an experience that brought an extreme light into my life. Like in a dark room/ flip-of-a-switch "oh, now I can see" moment. My actions had been affecting another and myself in a way that I neither fully realized nor really wanted to be aware of. This interaction left me flattened with guilt and shame over my actions for some time. But, piles of kleenex later, a wide-eyed laser beam focus emerged with some changes I wanted to create in my life.
I realized that as a person who 1) never wants to hurt anyone and wants to make everyone happy and 2) believes everything happens for a reason, this experience was the perfect mix for an elixir of truth. So, truth serum...
I pulled out psychology books, prayed, journaled, namasted the shit out of the situation.
And, for reals... it takes great effort to detach from one’s beliefs and thoughts, especially negative ones... to challenge them, reframe them, and develop new, healthier beliefs. But with practice...which was every moment I thought about it....which was, um, basically all the time.... a shift started to happen. From negative to positive. An awareness of my thoughts as well as an understanding that meaning is applied to events, not inherent in them. I can choose to shed the hurt and guilt, an upgrade to a better model. One of gratitude and new behavior.
This morning I was talking with a friend in regards to a situation she is going through... Similarly, not feeling good about an action... trying to process and move forward. And I realized... Though it does start with the truth of the matter, it shouldn't stop there. Maybe its the just the stop sign to pause and take a look around. While it doesn't make you right or devoid of responsibility, quite often there many truths to be learned.
xo
PS For more on positive psychology, (which is what this is), here's a super duper Tedtalk.
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