Sometimes it happens, the perfectionist/American dream-driven girl within me takes over my body and I think I need to "do more". And do it "right away". Though, of course, I don't know what "more" is actually. Usually, its just a self-induced pressure... that I've been really, really good at giving myself for years.
I think in someways its been great tool. Its been a motivator and a driving force to that lead me on to bigger and better things. Its helped me cope with change, not be afraid of loss, and more importantly in recent years, acted as an alert when things in my life weren't aligning anymore.
Cue... Alert: Recently, my job has been unfulfilling. Not just for me, but for my co-workers as well. Its changed the energy in a place that I used to really love coming to. Now I'm counting down the hours to do something different than be here. I feel like I'm just wishing my days away. So that part of me... "the more" part... is putting on the full court press. Judging. Pressuring. Telling me I have to figure this out. Soon. "I can't just wish days away!"
Until today. I love those moments where you realize you have a choice in your feelings. I realized that every other time I've been in this situation, my situation changed. I didn't have control over the timing, but in time it changed. So here I am. Nothing is different. But everything is from a perspective.
I tell you this, because telling yourself, "Things will change. And I will get what I need when I need it." is super powerful... And gives you a freaking break. So, whatever "it" is, it will change. I look at my life and I know this to be true. xx
